Nathan: Yeah, it really would.
Nathan: Noah? I don't know him that well, but definitely trust your judgement. Besides, if he hurts you I'll have Andy hire someone to beat him. (Kidding. Promise)
Nathan: BUT WENDY! It will make him incredibly happy! He will be so excited for you. I'm excited for YOU! So, who is it???
Nathan: You let Andy taking you shopping for something fabulous and then you GO. You will have an AMAZING time.
Nathan: WENDY! You say yes! I, mean, if you like the person. SAY YES.
Yes. I don’t like it.
Good. I love you, Nathan. Even if I’m an idiot. And have no idea how to do this…relationship thing.
You aren’t an idiot. We can figure it out together, yeah?
NO! NOT FOR A SECOND! I’LL BUY YOU AN ISLAND, I’LL…DO ANYTHING. ANYTHING. So long as you’re happy.
Can we snuggle and kiss?
I want to make you mine tonight.
Then you can understand why I would feel the same thing.
Of course we can.
I’m always yours.
I don’t want to burden you or distract you from your studies, especially your music, Love. I want you to be happy even if I’m going through a miserable time because you’re the only reason this is all bearable.
I love you too. No more shutting you out. And I don’t equate you with weak…at all…have you seen your arms? I’m sorry, Nate.
If I could, though…If I could magically change anything about you, I wouldn’t.
I want you to think about it … If I were miserable, would you be happy?
I’m not saying I’m going to be miserable because you are, but I’m not going to be completely happy when you aren’t.
Thank you, I wouldn’t want you to change.
I don’t think you’re stupid, Nathan. I seriously, really, truly don’t, but I am your Dom, and it’s not your job to worry yourself with my problems.
I do trust you, nathan but what am I supposed to say? “Everyone I cared about turned their backs?” “The only person who still cared is dead?” Oh, I know! “I’ll be meeting your family and have nothing to show you of my own.” What is it that you want to hear? Because I wont say that I cry when you’re not here and I’m not going to say that I feel like I’m drowning and that I can see people on the surface but nobody ever extends a hand to help me. I’m not going to tell you about the string of nightmares I have every single night and that I’m terrified of annoying you by hanging around too much because without you I’m just lonely.
So tell me, what is it that you want to hear?
I am your sub, I am supposed to serve. Why can’t that include listening to you? Or offering help? I don’t see how that makes you any less my dom, or me any less of a sub.
Yes, if that’s the truth. Then yes that’s exactly what I want to hear. Does it hurt? Yes. But only because I love you. How can you hold all of that in, and not expect me to see it, or want to help?
You can either tell me those things, or let me walk around worrying about you. Because you may be my dom, but you can’t magically change my disposition.
I love you, Andrew. I want to help. But I can’t give you keep shutting me out. And shutting me out is way worse than listening to what you have to say.
I am not a weak person. Submissive doesn’t equal weak. Don’t treat me like I am.
And you are not weak, so don’t go there.
I thought it would be easiest for you that way. Nathan, I love you. When you’re in rehearsals I find that I claw at my own skin to keep myself from bursting in to listen or to be closer to you. I don’t like the idea of you being anywhere without me. Ever.
I’m not pushing you away, or at least I’m not trying. That would be terribly stupid to do given I have nobody else. If this is too difficult to believe, if I am impossible to respect, I’m okay with that, I won’t punish you for not respecting my current choices nor do I expect you to understand something I myself don’t.
…But please don’t leave me.
I’m not leaving. I told you I wasn’t. You are going to have to start talking to me and stop pretending things are fine when they aren’t. I’m not stupid, Andy. I can’t handle all the back and forth of not knowing what’s going on.
You aren’t impossible to respect. But, I’m starting to feel angry that you seem to not trust me, or something. I don’t know what it is, but I constantly feel like there is always something you aren’t telling me. Part of my rules were being honest.
I think I deserve the that in return.